Flash to August 2011 – February 25, 2017

TL and I were having a wonderful morning.  I woke him up with some light groping and kisses on his back and neck.  Then a shower.  Followed by mind-blowing sex.  Everything was amazing, wonderful, intimate, then those words “Stand up and go to the wall.” Immediately, I pressed a hand to TL’s chest. “Stop.” He […]

February 4, 2017 – Honeymoon Phase

I’ve been through hell this week, but this morning I woke up next to the man I met five years ago.  Tomorrow is the anniversary of the day he proposed to me, but after everything, I looked at him sideways. He was everything I remembered: sweet, charming, romantic, and he laid all the right moves […]

January 29, 2017

M and I started fighting again… My therapist is worried because I keep saying that I feel trapped, but she hasn’t made me go back to the hospital because I will have somewhere to go in a few months. I just have to wait it out… Tonight, however, was rough… Maybe I deserved it… Maybe […]

April 2016

I was working at a preschool, had the same shift every day. We had one car. M was without work, claimed to be searching for a job every day, but I rarely saw him print out a resume or even dress up for an interview. Then he met someone online, a guy that we’ll call […]

January 2013

It had been a good Christmas, but we were again out of jobs, out of money, out of a car… M and I argued endlessly that week about money and trying to move out.  This argument in particular grew even more heated, and I told M that I felt trapped. I couldn’t go to my […]

Late August 2011

We had just spent a week at Youth Congress, a huge gathering of youth from across North America to praise and worship God.  I had spent every single morning throwing up.  Fortunately, the youth pastor’s wife who was rooming with me was a late sleeper.  The van drive home from Columbus, OH, to Gainesville, VA, […]